A Mindset Shift
In this situation, a mindset shift can be helpful. People leading meetings might shift away from considering themselves the "boss" of the meeting (which, of course, makes many of us uncomfortable) and instead consider themselves the referee. A referee keeps play moving and calls goals and fouls in real time, regardless of the status of the players.
Consider that people don't get angry or offended when a referee blows the whistle. They might not love the call, but the whistle being blown is just part of the game.
Use Graceful On-Ramps to Keep the Meeting on Track
Most people naturally tend to hold back when language could be socially threatening or interpreted as rude. If we had a way to interrupt sidetracks without running the risk of being seen as rude, we would probably keep meetings much more on track.
That's why it's fantastic that a study published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology examined politeness across cultures. It found that softened forms of making a request are perceived as more polite. Basically, this boils down to unsure language without an unsure tone.
Consider a meeting leader who notices that two senior leaders have switched the topic of discussion to something off the agenda. If the leader just jumps in and says, "Hey, we've switched topics. Is there anything else on the previous topic?" it could easily be perceived as rude. However, if they say, "It sounds like we've switched topics. Is there anything else on the previous topic?" the phrase "it sounds like" does a lot of heavy lifting for politeness.
The nice thing is that softened language doesn't reduce authority or credibility. It just comes off as more polite. "It sounds like," "it feels like," and "it looks like" all leave room for interpretation and don't call out a specific individual.
Present Options or Direct the Meeting
After a polite on-ramp, the meeting leader can either present options or direct the meeting. Even the most high-powered executive appreciates someone who runs a tight meeting and would find it difficult to be offended by a statement like:
“It looks like we're finding this to be a bigger topic than we had time for on our agenda. Should we add this to a later conversation or reprioritize our agenda items?”
Social Psychology in Action
Keeping a meeting on track doesn't require you to be the bossiest person in the room. Think like a referee: and use a graceful on-ramp to step in even when someone senior is leading the detour. Everyone will be thankful that you did.
These are the kinds of sticky situations we find solutions for in our workshop, The Social Psychology of Leading Meetings.
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Explore the Gravity workshop: "The Social Psychology of Leading Meetings"
